30 minutes

Half past 3 still I am not sleepy.
Half past 3 when everything is silent. Everything is dark.
Peaches is sleeping comfortably on my bed. Well as for me. I am still wide awake.

I reflect on what has happened the past few days… hmm the past two months…
One thing is for certain, I stopped smoking. Again.. maybe this time.. I won’t be going back, this time I think I am really sure. I shall reflect on this note whenever  I have that urge to smoke again.

3.35 am still nothing..
Tried counting some sheeps, horses, bears, cows, planes, fighter jets, motrocycles, f1 cars and still nothing.

3.45 am still nothing..
Am I overthinking again ?
Am I bothered with what I learned?
Am I too affected with what’s been said?
I stare at the ceiling hoping to find answers…

3.50 am Peaches is having dog dreams..
Peaches is barking softly. Running in her dreams, she might be.
Sleep? Still nothing…

3.52 am
I closed my eyes. Hoping it would be you that I dream of.
Hoping that when I wake up, It would be you I’d be thinking of.

3.55 am
Again I opened my eyes.
3 mins gone seemed like 3 hours of sleep.
Then I realized, I haven’t slept yet.

3.56 am
It was so easy then when I was in another country.
By this time I would have cooked spaghetti, baked a cake, cooked breakfast, planned for lunch.
Then I knew, I was inside my room, here.. HOME

3.57 am
I started thinking, is this what I want?
Is this what should be happening with me?
I welcome change. Especially if that change is happening to me. More so if that change is for the better.

A new Haloed Devil? I asked. Nahhh..  The better me I think..

3.58 am
I’ve come full circle… question is does it stop on top.. or will I just end up at the bottom again.
Then I realized, YOU are there to guide me, help me, change me… then I saw a better me..

Then 4.00 am… 

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