How do I go back?

How do you go back when you've been pushed too far away?
How do you pretend that things are fine even if they are not?
How do you say I'm sorry when any apology you give is not enough?
How do you smile when there is no reason to?
How do you stop the tears from falling knowing you were the reason for the heartache?

You hide behind this glass of alcohol to hide the pain... You hind behind a simple smile to hide the sorrow... You hide behind your friends and sing the night away thinking that everything is fine. You keep things to yourself because you know that the words that come out of your mouth is something that hurt people. You embody the principle " less talk.. less mistake".

You put up a face of strength and confidence knowing that you can't sleep at night. You laugh boisterously and with reckless abandon thinking that people would think you don't care. You know deep down in your heart you are hurting..

What people see are different from what actually happens. You always say " that is what you see" but it is totally different from what they don't see. Especially at night., especially at home when you are alone in your room.

You become pretentious to avoid hurting people. Yes, the truth hurts, but isn't it the right thing to do? the right thing to say?

You have an overwhelming desire to make everybody happy.. But isn't it the cause of all your pain as well?
You pretend to be happy.. you pretend everything is alright. you look at things on a positive note all the time.

People hurt you because you allow them to... you open yourself to hurt. People measure you... people question your motives and yet you do nothing.. Nothing!!

Why do you need to go back? You ask.. you go back because you see the goodness in people.. you see that these people are worth fighting for.. these are the fights that need fighting. these are the people that matter. These people are your friends and friends stick together.

Are you afraid to go back because people would hurt you again? You think that this is just one vicious cycle. Is it truly worth it?

Because you were hurt, that is why you lost your way.. You felt pain that is why you can't see your way back. You are afraid...

You try to find every reason to go back yet you are not sure.. You just could not find the way..

Dubai's Haloed Devil




Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2011 at 3:52 AM

    Believe when you get hurt, you get stronger;
    when you feel pain, you feel bliss afterwards;
    when you get scared, you get to think where/whom to hang on,
    And then you'll realize
    You indeed need someone, not because you're weak, but because you're loved..


    heheh..
    -ronsgm

    ReplyDelete

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