Emotions

I am happy... because i thought about you. You brought meaning in my life. You were the greatest gift God has given me. You showed me a different perspective of the things I saw, you made me look at things differently. You inculcated in me that a glass is never half empty but always half full.  I am happy because you were able to teach me to look beyond anyone's imperfections by looking beyond mine. You made me realize that having you around things are always perfect. I am happy because with you around I can be myself, no pretensions.

I am sad... because I hurt you. I made you cry. I never said sorry enough. I am sad because I argued at every chance I get. I am sad because I caused you pain. I am sad because I am so insensitive to every tear that fell from your eyes. I am sad because i am so naive that I believed everything is fine despite the arguments, the disagreements, despite the crying. I am sad because I was too stupid that everything was still a joke..  I am sad and tears are falling.

I am afraid.. because i am uncertain about the future. I am afraid because at anytime i can feel i'll be likened to a wall paper, a rug, a flower vase, a carpet... Something decorative yet always taken for granted. I am afraid because i might just push you too far away that you might have no more reason to come back. I am afraid that it might be you who'd push me away and i would not have the courage to tell you. I am afraid because i might hurt your feelings and make you cry. I am afraid that this time no amount of apology would be enough.

I am angry.. because you measured me. You doubted me.. you pushed me to the limit.. I am angry because you left me with no choice, i had no options left to be angry. I am angry because I probably assumed too much. I am angry because I wasn't there when you needed me most. I am angry because I am afraid.

Dubai's Haloed Devil
  

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