Haloed Devil

Half past 3 still I am not sleepy. Half past 3 when everything is silent. Everything is dark. Peaches is sleeping comfortably on my bed. Well as for me. I am still wide awake. I reflect on what has happened the past few days… hmm the past two months… One thing is for certain, I stopped smoking. Again.. maybe this time.. I won’t be going back, this time I think I am really sure. I shall reflect on this note whenever  I have that urge to smoke again. 3.35 am still nothing.. Tried counting some sheeps, horses, bears, cows, planes, fighter jets, motrocycles, f1 cars and still nothing. 3.45 am still nothing.. Am I overthinking again ? Am I bothered with what I learned? Am I too affected with what’s been said? I stare at the ceiling hoping to find answers… 3.50 am Peaches is having dog dreams.. Peaches is barking softly. Running in her dreams, she might be. Sleep? Still nothing… 3.52 am I closed my eyes. Hoping it would be you that I dream of. Ho

I closed my eyes and... everything seemed so quiet... everything seemed so peaceful... nothing to think of... nothing to worry about... I closed my eyes and... i was alone... i can hear myself breath... i can hear my heartbeat... i was calm... I closed my eyes and... i can pretend i am someone else.. i am somewhere else... i am safe... i closed my eyes and... i wished you were there... i hoped that it was your voice that i'd hear... i prayed that it will be you that i will see... i closed my eyes and.. Nothing... It is you I wish I'd see when I open my eyes. It is you I'd look for. It is your voice I'd want to hear. It is you hand I would want to hold. It is you who I want so say "Everything will be fine. Everything will be ok." Then everything will be better...